Wellness Matters

14 Questions to Ask If You Suspect Someone You Love is Being Abused

October 22, 2014

In 2012, Guilford County law enforcement responded to more than 13,000 potential domestic violence calls.

And Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports that 1 in 5 women and nearly 1 in 7 men who have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner, first experienced some form of partner violence between 11 and 17 years of age.

As we recognize National Domestic Violence Awareness Month this October, it's important to know the signs.

If you're unsure that someone you love is in an abusive relationship, here are 14 questions you can ask:

  1. Is the partner jealous and possessive towards him/her?
  2. Does the partner make him/her feel guilty for hanging out with friends and family?
  3. Does the partner check up on him/her via text messaging and phone calls?
  4. Does the partner tamper with his/her personal items such as computer, internet accounts, purse, wallet or phone?
  5. Does the partner threaten to physically harm him/her or themselves?
  6. Does the partner act violently in an intimidating manner and/or loses his/her temper easily?
  7. Does the partner disrespect him/her by constantly putting him/her down or making him/her feel bad?
  8. Does the partner make him/her feel obligated, threatened or forced to perform unwanted sexual activity?
  9. Does the partner make decisions for him/her? Or makes him/her seem like they don't have a right to say no?
  10. Does the partner blame him/her for the mistreatment such as "you provoked me," "you pressed my buttons," "you made me do it," or "you knew I was having a bad day."
  11. Does the partner threaten to take away his/her children if they leave or tell anyone about the abuse?
  12. Is your loved one not allowed to have access to the household's money or is he/she put on an allowance?
  13. Does the partner threaten to hurt or has hurt the children?
  14. Does the partner threaten to hurt or has hurt the pets?
If you answered "yes" to one or more of the questions, then your loved one may be in an abusive relationship.

To receive help for you or your loved one, call:

Cone Health SANE Program at 336-832-2966 

The National Domestic Violence Hotline 800-799-7233

Alamance County Hotline 336-226-5985

Guilford County Hotline 336-273-7273

Rockingham County Hotline 336-342-3332

All hotlines offer assistance 24 hours a day, seven days a week.


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